Tuesday, February 11, 2014

HOW IS IT GOING?


Would you believe our Christmas tree still stands in our living area in all it's glory? I fully intended to pack it all away before we went to Christchurch but could not get motivated. If I don't get my act together soon I may as well leave it for Easter and then it can stay there until next Christmas.

I'm content that I've got my head around my current situation and The Plan.

It feels a bit weird to be content after all the months of frustration. All I've done is lift the bar and make it easier for myself.

Do you lift the bar to make life easier or lower it? I was thinking of the Limbo bar when I wrote the original sentence but If you are think high jumping then of course it would be need to be lowered. Since I neither Limbo Dance nor High Jump let's say the bar needs to be no lower than 1.5 metres/4 feet.... I think I can get under that without touching if I crawl, or a couple of inches off the ground. I don't see me jumping successfully an day soon.

This last week my main focus has been the evening snacking. I had got into quite a habit of eating dessert, icecream, unlimited nuts and whatever was on offer between dinner and going to bed. It was easy to break the icecream habit but the nut habit is much harder. I'm exercising some discipline but it's  not easy to reduce my evening snacking. A habit crept up on me that must change.

I made some jelly/jello with flavoured tea bags. I do not use any sweetener in my tea but the jelly needed something. I added a little honey. This is all very experimental. My goal is to make a tasty jelly to eat instead of WW which has Aspartame. One of my favourite desserts/snacks is jelly with whipped cream. I will be very happy if I can fit it into my low carb template.

I am hoping to be able to live pain free very soon. The left side of my face has been affected by Bells Palsy for two years and have really lost hope of recovery of the facial nerve which controls animation. The muscles have wasted, my face is unattractively twisted. I drink with a straw because I struggle not to dribble, My speech is sloppy with some letters very difficult to pronounce unless I seriously concentrate, and the eyelid does not close or blink spontaneously. The affected eye is always sore, sometimes more than others. I do use drops but the best ones only partially relieve the problem. Not to mention that I hate eye drops and I cannot put them in by myself. I often cover my eye, tucking a tissue under my glasses. I've worked out something that keeps the lid closed, especially at home. I'm quite adept at being one-eyed.
WHAT MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY SEE
I ONLY STAY LONG ENOUGH IN FRONT OF THE MIRROR TO BRUSH MY HAIR AND PUT ON LIPSTICK
THE MUSCLES ON MY LEFT SIDE NO LONGER FUNCTION'
THE ACTIVE RIGHT SIDE HAS PULLED MY FACE SIDEWAYS
I'VE LOST MY NATURAL SMILE
THIS IS A HAPPY FACE
I've been on the waiting list to have a special Gold Weight implanted in the affected eyelid. Each time the possibility of an appointment for this 'Day Surgery' with local anaesthetic, came up it was cancelled for one reason or another until I lost my place on the waiting list through no fault of mine. Finally I phoned yesterday to see if I could stir things up a little. This morning I received a call to say they have a slot tomorrow afternoon providing all the other ducks line up. They do so we are organising ourselves now.

We need to leave home before 8 am and I have no idea when we will get home. It's not a particularly difficult procedure, I'm told. But nor is it an everyday one. The specialist said he would only do one or two a year so now I'm praying it all goes well. I cannot imagine how horrible it would be if my eyelid gets totally messed up. Thanks to Jackie we have a voucher for a restaurant in Hamilton, near the hospital, which we will use for an early lunch before keeping my 12.30 pm appointment. I hope we will be finished there before 5 pm. It's a long way home if you feel miserable.

Whatever progress I've made toward The Plan could be undone tomorrow but that's okay. I now have an easy plan to find my way back to. The next step will be for the eye specialist to refer me to the plastic surgery clinic once he is satisfied his work has healed.
KUAOTUNA - THE NEXT BEACH OVER FROM MATARANGI

4 comments:

  1. I hope you get in for the surgery! Are you sure you are permitted to eat? Even an outpatient procedure usually advises against food. if they didn't tell you specifically, I'd call.

    Deb

    ReplyDelete
  2. I am sending all good thoughts your way and hoping for a good outcome.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hope the trip and surgery has all gone well :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. I'm so glad for you that you got in for the eyelid procedure... I remember you talking about it, and waiting so long. I pray it goes perfectly!

    ReplyDelete